I am so excited for today's guest writer! She has so much to share, and you can see God's work throughout her whole story!
I can’t necessarily put my finger on the exact moment we decided we wanted to adopt. I knew as a little 10-year-old girl, that one day, I would adopt. And while David and I were dating, talk of our own adoptions and adopting was something we discussed often. So, we always knew that one day, we would pursue adoption to grow our family. One reason we decided to adopt was because both David and I are adopted and have an understanding and appreciation for the opportunities that we have been given because of adoption. I was adopted by my step dad when I was too young to remember. He raised me as a single father, when my mother left. So even though my adoption was a bit different, I understand what it feels like to be raised by someone not biologically related to me. I understand what it feels like to go through life and wonder about where I get my eyes or my hair from. Or whether or not I have more siblings out in the world. I get what it feels like to want to know and search for a biological father and relatives. David was adopted from South Korea when he was 4 months old. He feels a bit differently and has absolutely no desire to search for biological relatives. He has an amazing relationship with his parents and doesn’t feel there is a void, or unanswered questions about his past. But he absolutely can relate and understands what it feels like to be raised in a transracial family, to get the stares, unwelcomed, rude comments and questions about his family. He knows what it feels like to be discriminated against because of his race and mixed family. So together, we both knew we had a lot to offer a child through adoption.
When we finally decided it was time to pursue adoption, we began by pursuing international adoption. I always had it in MY plans that this was the route for us because 1. After our 2ndson was born, we said we were done with the newborn stage. We sold all the infant gear and clothes and we just knew that with international adoption, we would most likely adopt an older child. (NEVER say NEVER) 2. David was adopted from South Korea, and 3. Because I had spent countless years going on the mission field and volunteering in orphanages across Central America. But as we began praying about which country and which agency to work with, God began closing each of those doors. Friends told us about adoption consultants and recommended a few. As we prayed, researched, and spoke with others, the doors to domestic infant adoption flung WIDE open! We signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants and then applied to 8 or 9 different agencies. Within 9 months of signing on with CAC, we matched with Heart to Heart Adoptions and had our baby girl in our arms less than 3 weeks later!
There is so much to think about when it comes to open vs closed adoption, drug or alcohol exposure, do we choose to present our family profile to a birth mother who may be HIV positive or HEP C positive? Do we choose to present our family profile when there is a history of mental illness or if baby will be born with special needs? There were so many overwhelming emotions in trying to make the right and best decision for our family. However, deciding on which race to adopt was probably the easiest decision for us to make in the entire process. We are already a multiracial family. David is Asian and I’m Hispanic. We have two biological sons who are biracial, so adding another race to our family would just make us all the more interesting! But really, we believe that every child, no matter their race deserves a loving family. Plus, God adopted us into His family, we all come from different cultures, races, and have different skin color. God didn’t look at each of us and choose us based on how we look or loves any of us differently, so why should we chose a baby based off of the color of his or her skin? We believe that we are all created in God’s perfect image and that we are all created equally!
The entire 9 months leading up to our daughter were nothing short of a miracle. We saw God’s hand at work in every step of our process. We are a single income family. David has an amazing job, and I get the privilege of being a stay at home mom. But because David makes decent money, we didn’t qualify for any grants. We also didn’t have a large chunk of money just sitting in our bank account! But we got out of our comfort zones and got to work. We did multiple LARGE yard sales, we sold women’s boutique clothing, kids moccasins, homemade Christmas ornaments, and greeting cards. We cut our budget like crazy, and saved like crazy! David was able to trade in vacation time for cash (which his company never does and hasn’t done since!) We saved tax returns, David’s Christmas bonus, and cut any extra expenses we could. We were very fortunate to have family and friends who gave to us. And in the end, when our daughter was born 8 weeks prematurely, a close friend did a GRID fundraiser to help us with the remaining cost! In the end our adoption cost us about $62,000 and God provided every single penny! So what we thought was impossible, God made possible!
One of the biggest challenges in our adoption process came when Kerrington was born. Because she was born 8 weeks early she had to spend some time in the NICU. There were so many unknowns with her health and we were originally told she would spend a minimum of 8 weeks in the NICU. We traveled across the country for her adoption, so we were also very far from home, our church family, and family and friends. So we didn’t have our support system! But with our biggest challenge, came our biggest blessing. Everyday, for 3 weeks we got to see God heal our little 4 pound miracle girl and beat the odds!
Nothing about our adoption journey went as I had planned all those years ago and it looked nothing like I thought it would once we started the process. From waiting to be chosen by a birth family, to the birth of our daughter, to finalizing her adoption and running into obstacle after obstacle. But through it all, I hope to encourage others to step out and say yes to adoption, say yes to foster care, say yes to supporting orphan care. Its my hope and prayer that others see what a blessing adoption can be. Even through the hard, the ugly, through the brokenness, adoption can be beautiful and there can be redemption! I pray that if an expectant mother is having to make the brave and selfless choice to first choose life for her baby, and then choosing to place her heart in the hands of another, that there would be families that would step up and be the answered prayer she is looking for. And even for those who may not necessarily feel like they are in a place to bring a child into their home, they can still be a blessing to kids in foster care by simply volunteering or donating items. They can help support families that are trying to adopt. I know for us, what encouraged us the most in our process, was how many friends and STRANGERS showed up to donate to our adoption, who shared words of encouragement and prayers, brought meals when we finally made it home, and the number of women who have stepped up to help teach me about how to care for my Black daughter’s hair and skin.
David and I are just ordinary people who answered the call for a need. We aren’t more qualified to adopt because we are adopted. Kerrington isn’t lucky to have us. We are the lucky ones to get to call her ours. Adoption has obviously played a big part in our lives and we hope that other adoptees realize that they are loved, they have a purpose and a destiny, that they are chosen and cherished, prayed and fought for.
Thank you for sharing today Megan! I absolutely loved hearing more of her story! If you have any questions or just want to share some love, leave it in the comments below.
Jesus lover, wife, momma, teacher, and hopeful writer.